let me say this…

i’ve always enjoyed writing down my thoughts, simply blogging.. always been a great help..and i’ve been active here in friendster since 2005 i think.. but now i’m moving out..yes, i’m still gonna write about my raves and rants but not in here anymore..i’ll be having another site but i guess just for "exclusive people" ’s consumption.hehe let’s just say some of my new stories, (it’s not what you’re thinking..they are still wholesome..i’m trying..haha) are just too special and personal to let it all out to everyone.

and yes, i know, not the typical me..but i realize change isn’t that bad..it doesn’t scare me anymore. instead, there are actually some familiar things i should beware of.

so bye for now..who knows? i might miss it here..so til then!

I’ve always enjoyed reading books whenever I have time or I am in the mood and I’ve always wanted to read "The Missing Piece" by Shel Silverstein. It is actually a children’s book recommended from the ‘must-read’ section of a magazine back in 2003. My friend Glenn and I even went to powerbooks mega to look for it. But when we saw that it was too expensive (Php670), considering that we were just students then, much to our dismay, it was more of an illustration than text, we ended up laughing (at our effort to go there from UP just to suffice my addiction) and not buying it at all!(purita mode!haha)

So now after a few years, I finally had the chance to read it and I must say that it was worth its price. It really is a must-read! But I guess I find the other book more interesting. "The Missing Piece Meets the Big-O!" The book tackles life and how we generally see it. That merely seeing is way different from perceiving. That we can actually stop looking for answers and probably start reflecting on ourselves. That we should just end searching for ‘the missing piece’ and begin to study ‘our every piece’. And know the things we are capable of. Then everything else would just follow. ^_^ So here, since there’s always a child in every one of us, read and enjoy it for yourself. ^_^

The Missing Piece Meets The Big-O

The missing piece sat alone..

waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere..

some fit but could not roll..

others could roll but did not fit.

one didn’t know a thing about fitting..

and another didn’t know a thing about anything.

one was too delicate..

one put it on a pedestal and left it there.

some had too many pieces missing..

some had too many pieces, period.

it learned to hide from the hungry ones..

more came, some looked closely.

others rolled right by without noticing..

it tried to make itself more attractive, it didn’t help.

it tried being flashy, but that just frightened away the shy ones.

And at last one came along that fit just right.

but all of a sudden, the missing piece began to grow, and grow!

‘i didn’t know you were going to grow..’

‘i didn’t know either,’ said the missing piece.

‘i am looking for my missing piece, one that don’t increase’.

oh..

And then one day, one came along who looked different.

‘what do you want from me?’ asked the missing piece.

‘nothing.’

‘what do you need from me?’

‘nothing.’

‘who are you? asked the missing piece. ‘ I am the Big-O,’ said the Big-O.

‘I think you are the one I’ve been waiting for,’ said the missing piece. ‘maybe i’m your missing piece’.

‘but i am not missing a piece,’ said the Big-O.

‘there’s no place you would fit.’

‘that’s too bad,’ said the missing piece.

‘i was hoping that perhaps i could roll with you.’

‘you couldn’t roll with me,’ said the Big-O. ‘but perhaps you could roll by yourself.’

‘by myself? a missing piece couldn’t roll by itself.’

‘have you ever tried?,’ said the Big-O.

‘but i have sharp corners,’ said the missing piece. ‘I am not shaped for rolling.’

‘corners wear off,’ said the Big-O. ‘and shape changes. Anyhow, I must say goodbye..perhaps we will meet again.’

And away it rolled.

the missing piece was alone again.

for a long time it just sat there.

then..

slowly..

it lifted itself up on one end..

then lift..pull..flop..and flopped over. it began to move forward..

and soon the edges began to wear off..liftpullflop..liftpullflop..

and its shape began to change..

and it was bumping instead of flopping..

and then it was bouncing instead of bumping..

and then it was rolling instead of bouncing..

and it didn’t know where and it didn’t care..

it was rolling!

-end-

hope you enjoyed it! ^_^

being in a quite unfamiliar place, i just ought to follow instructions, right? being lost is definitely the last thing i’d want to experience. so i clearly take detailed instructions from my aunt about which bus numbers i should ride off to sta. rosa. Bus numbers 28A and 22. and i have to get off at the bus stop near Hotel Lisboa and then walk a few meters. so having my very careful nature (duh!), i never take buses other than those two.hehe but even if i already knew about it, i still had my bus ride boo-boo one time as ate elyn (my aunt’s house helper) instructed me to get off one bus stop farther to make the long walk short. so why not? one morning i went aboard bus 28A and yes, as she said, it was more convenient. Then the other morning i was kinda running late so i went aboard bus 22 and whew! they don’t have the same route after the bus stop at H.Lisboa. i almost got off in san malo(a loooooong walk).and yes, i was 5mins late.huhu the next tip she told me was i could also ride bus 25..so another morning, buses 22 and 28A were nowhere to be found (wah!) then bus25 was fast approaching..so i had my "sisa mode" ’sasakay ba ko dito kahit tayuan?naku nman di ako pwdeng malate..mamaya iba na nman pala ang ruta nito..bahala na!’ and so i got in..wonder if it was another boo-boo? nah..Thank God! surprisingly, it was even more convenient.hehe

so why am i writing this blog about my senseless bus ride misadventures? i just realized that i can simply analyze myself with something as simple as riding a bus.. i guess i familiarize myself with what i should be doing..something ‘right’..something that won’t take me somewhere unknown..but as much as i try to stick to that ‘right thing’, still, some unavoidable circumstances led me to the other side. what i had to do was some reinforcements! (naks, how eng’g sounding!haha)

fervently hoping that indeed bus22 would take me to my destination, it was a big frustration!haha but it’s ok, at least now i know.charge it to experience!hehe about the bus25 ride, even if i was anxious the whole time i was in it, the fact that it got me to the ‘right place’ and everything made sense after i got off, i can simply say that it was worth it.hehe

but please.. that’s enough ok? i hope the next ride will have a reserved seat for me.. how about that?haha

last saturday we celebrated my cousin ken’s 18th birthday..we were just so overwhelmed ‘coz we all had a blast! not to mention preparing everything for barely a month. whew! my cousins and i even managed to present two dance numbers. including one where we asked our still sexy and cool mommies to join us.hehe plus a special dance number by our babies: sandy, brittle and liah. (watch out for the pics and videos soon)

it was indeed a bonding celebration for our family.and our family’s close relatives and friends. everyone was there. lots of well-wishing and funny moments of course but equally tear-jerking.and like what i said when i was asked to wish, if there’s one thing that is definite, that would be family. funny how family can work in both opposite ways. firstly, they will be there to keep you grounded when you’re overwhelmed with a lot of things going on in your life. secondly and more importantly, they will always be there to lift you up when things aren’t going so well. so what i’m just trying to say is, when all else fails, you have your family. and i’m so proud to be part of a great one.

too bad, we were all still hyped up with last night’s party when we left for macau (with my tito,tita,cousins kris and sandy) the morning after. but throughout our trip we can’t help but talk about it over and over again. we just can’t get enough of it.hehe truly an event to remember. can’t wait for the next one..after four years, it would be our shawie’s turn. so for now let me just say, mission accomplished! cheers to everyone!

…for the best is only bought at the cost of great pain. –from the Thornbirds

This would probably be my year-end blog entry. Time flew so fast and like what Nikki said, this one’s definitely my year. Yes, I’m claiming it. It has been a crazy ride, highlighted with great curves and bumps. So great that I almost jumped off.hehe but I’ve always been a sucker for popular yet scary rides. The kind most people always rave about but never dare to try. There I go always been fond of it, so after each and every try—mind you, of the same ride—I get off, my heart pounding like hell and I’m ‘half-dead inside my head’. Oh well, so much for my weird gone bad habit. Something I had to quit.

So while steering myself away from it, as what my good friend Nico said, ‘what is personal is always universal’. I was just so amazed to realize that it is very true. How I share the same sentiments with thousands even millions of people beyond time. Here’s a proof: while looking for something to read in my tita’s room, I came across this short passage she’d written more than 20years ago. Since she’s always been so strict and formal, considering the fact that she’s an accomplished lawyer, I haven’t seen, I bet even the rest of my cousins this side of her. And I actually felt the connection.

[when you’re down and out…]

I can’t simply tell you either

            To cheer up

            To smile

            To forgive

            To forget

            Or just let things be

For…

I may  know what you’re feeling but not exactly how intense you’re feeling it.

I may know what you’re thinking but not exactly how hard you’re thinking about it.

Nevertheless, there is someone who at least knows…and who most of the time, understands.

CTL, june 2, 1987

I couldn’t agree more. Thanks tola!

One more thing, just in time for the holiday season—the movie ‘The Holiday’ is currently featured in HBO. Though I’ve seen it a couple times before, has been one of my faves, I haven’t watched it as intensely as I did recently. I know, adik lang.hehe here I wanna share my fave part.

Iris<kate winslet>:  What I’m trying to say is… I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. How it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. It doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get…or gyms you join…or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong  or how you could have misunderstood and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes, you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door.

And after all that…however long “all that” may be.. you’ll go somewhere new..and you meet new people who make you feel worthwhile again.. and little pieces of your soul will finally come back and all that fuzzy stuff…those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Again, I couldn’t agree more.

Just a few days before new year, something about 2007 now feels like…

Light years Away

mozella

It’s almost like you had it planned
It’s like you smiled and shook my hand
And said "Hey, I’m about to screw you
Over big time"
And what was I supposed to do
I was stuck in between you
In a hard place
We won’t talk about
The hard place

But I don’t blame you anymore
Thats too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I’m not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

It’s how you wanted it to be
It’s like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend in the end

And I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I’m never going back
To who I was

‘Cuz I don’t blame you anymore
Thats too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I’m not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

I think I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I’m never going back
To who I was

‘Cuz I don’t blame you anymore
Thats too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I’m not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

That life seems like
Light years away, light years away

And that life seems like
Light years away, light years away

i missed it here..it’s been a while.. and that quite long while made me master something. probably how to fervently ask for divine intervention and utmost healing of some sort.hehe i know it sounds pathetic but obviously it worked for me. at least as far as i’m concerned.

i realized that it’s really hard to ask for something you want so bad if you don’t feel worthy at all.but what’s so nice about it is that often times, what you wish and pray for isn’t what you get.it would first take a lot of patience and understanding before you finally realize that what you get is actually something better. as far as He is concerned.

the secret is most probably just befriending time.to realize that it’s never too late for anything..yes, time is ticking away but you just can’t let it take you away.. 

so now i’m actually starting to master another thing.. something far more important. ever heard of thanks giving? yes, i should really do more of it.

my mind’s a lil whacked… got only this song running on it…

I’ve seen your face a thousand times
Have all your stories memorized
I’ve kissed your lips a million ways
But I still love to have you around

Don’t go away
My love (you’re my love supply)
I want you to stay
In my life (every day, every night)
Don’t go away
My love (you’re my love supply)
I need you, you’re my love supply

well, i should just probably keep on singing…

Funny while skimming through some notes, you find something interesting and surprisingly ’significant’ out of the dreaded engineering subjects you’ve often cursed. i don’t know, maybe i was just a bit whacked to even take time to ponder on it. or i guess i’m feeling a lil unsafe lately.hehe

Factor of Safety considerations

1. uncertainty in material properties

maybe i still don’t know myself too well. but of course it’s good to surprise myself once in a while. to realize that there are things i never knew i’m capable of.

2. uncertainty of loadings

i’ve had a fair share of ups and downs.  but certainly there is only so much i can handle.

3. uncertainty of analyses

i bet everyone who knows me will agree that i always have something to say about everything. i won’t let even  tinge of vital information be out of consideration. talk about being a freak! hehe

4. number of loading cycles

when do you say once is enough and twice is too much? i don’t know because most of the time i don’t care! or i rarely get tired? (silly me! :p)

5. types of failure

is it elastic? (will return to its original shape) good for me!

is it creep? (deformation over a long period of time due to constant stress) how patient!

is it fracture? (complete separation of the material) burnout!

6. maintenance requirements and deterioration effects

even God took a break even for a day. i think a lil breather will do.

7. importance of member to structure’s integrity

do i really matter? sadly most of the time i don’t feel like i do. (drama queen!hehe)

8. risk to life and property

a no-brainer especially if you don’t have much to lose.

9. influence on machine function

NA. unless i choose to be a robot and just be numb.hehe

in real life, most engineers neglect these facts. most of the time rushing to finish the project before the deadline for a higher compensation.

on my case, i don’t mind allotting ample time just to be sure of my project’s strength and stability. and what about proper compensation? i definitely can gain it in due time. (be positive!hehe)

ok, i know i’m being such a weirdo here but maybe i needed to be like this. so please bear with me.

and one more thing. i still wish to be a ductile material (sustains significant deformation prior to fracture). i know i still can endure.

life’s tough. but i’m definitely tougher!